


this is everything we need (isn't it?)

by harryblows



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Harry, Angst and Porn, Fingering, M/M, Sad!Louis, bottom!Louis, harry tops for first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:51:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryblows/pseuds/harryblows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Harry is sick of hiding and leaves, Louis gets sad and well then things happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is everything we need (isn't it?)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is actually the first thing I finish so I don't expect too much. Let me know what you think and thank you. :)

Louis stopped the car and let a sigh come out as he laid his forehead on the steering wheel.  
He'd never felt more tired in his 21 agitated years of life. He was tired of hiding, of faking, of covering up, of pretending to love someone he did not love. Tired of coming home and telling himself everything is fine when clearly it isn't. He really wanted to believe everything was okay, but he was starting to think that the idea of his life being  _okay_  was further from reality than his love for Eleanor.  
He found it really hard to complain about his life. He was a lucky boy, the band was more than successful and his family was doing great. You could tell people would kill to have his life, but we are missing an important factor of the equation. Love. And hiding your soul mate to the world it isn’t what you call easy.

He took courage from who knows where and went out of the car. As he decided to take the stairs (not that he particularly liked the stairs but that would slow down the arrival to his apartment so), he unsuccessfully tried to draw a smile on his face like he always did because, well, he needed it for what he had to face now.  
But he didn’t see what he was used to when he opened the door.

Usually the living room would be filled with silence and darkness. He'd go upstairs and find Harry lying on their bed. Harry would pretend he was sleeping, but Louis'd always know he wasn't. Then, he'd lay down with him and feel the shiver Harry's body produced when Louis put his arm around his waist. Louis'd also feel the still not dry tears his boyfriend'd left on the pillow, before leaving an apologize kiss on his neck which he would soothe with finally falling sleep.  
But Louis would never mumble a word about it, he just couldn't. He knew Harry's tears were only his fault. He knew he wasn't making Harry completely happy. And he hated himself for that; he'd never hated someone as much as he hated himself.

But tonight was different. There was some stupid, random and loud movie on tv and he could actually see Harry's back tense when he shut the door. But Harry didn't even glance at Louis.  
Louis stood behind the couch his boyfriend was sitting on and rested his delicate hands on those big shoulders.

"I really missed you."  
Silence. That's all Louis got, silence.  
"The food was awful, indeed, I'm sure _I_  can cook better." Louis said faking a laugh.  
More silence. And still Harry hadn't moved a bit.  
"Harry I also hate doing this and you know that. All I can think about when I'm with her is you. I can't stop thinking and pleading time to pass faster because all I want to do is come home and cuddle with you because that is all it takes to make me happy. I hate to see you-"  
"Don't." Harry broke the silence. "You better don't fucking say it. You think you know how I feel but you don't."  
Louis was astonished; his mouth opened trying to pronounce a word.  
"You just -you don't know how it feels to know that while I'm sitting here thinking of you, you're with her having a fucking dinner or shopping or who the fucks knows what. It hurts, it really does. And I'm sick of this."  
As Harry talked, Louis stared at his green eyes which looked colder and harsher than ever.

"For God's sake, Louis! You spend more time with her than with me. I don't even know who we are hiding from anymore. I'm so fucking tired of hiding and you can't just pretend this is alright because we both know this is anything but alright. This-" Harry swallowed. " _this_ stopped making sense a long time ago."

 Harry irradiated anger. Louis could feel a weight on his chest like it was an anchor with which he was about to sink. He also felt his eyes burning as he moved his mouth trying but not being able to make a sound. He was about to explode.

His eyes followed Harry as he grabbed his coat. He turned to Louis one more time, almost stabbing him with his rough gaze. Louis would have asked where was he going or if he was coming back, but his mind was still processing every painful word Harry'd emitted a few seconds ago.

A shiver ran through his body when the door was abruptly slammed.

_"this stopped making sense a long time ago"_

Louis finally moved sitting on the couch with a blank expression on his face. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly. And that was it, he exploded.

Minutes passed, and hours too. But thoughts and Harry's words were still running through Louis' mind, and tears hadn't ceased and the pain much less. He felt like dying because, to be honest, that was the only thing he wanted to do.

Because he knew Harry was right, he'd always known. He'd done everything wrong. Not that he was not used to, but still.

He'd ruined it. Like when he was a kid and he found this beautiful little bird in his backyard. It had its wing hurt so it was not able to fly. So Louis called his mom and together they took care of it. But by the time the little bird healed Louis'd fallen in love with it. Although Jay told him more than five times it was not a good idea, Louis'd thrown such a tantrum; she finally let him keep it. The little Louis would always spend time with his bird and even talk to him. But one day, when he got back from school and rushed to his bird's cage he found his little friend dead. That was the first loss Louis cried. And then Jay told him that sometimes when you love something, as much as you want to keep it, lock it up is never a good idea. And Louis felt guilty and cried even harder. And Jay never knew if she should have told that to his seven year old son. 

But Louis now did. He understood. 

And he never knew at what time of the morning he finally fell asleep, but he dreamt with that little bird.  
And when he woke up, he still felt that huge knot in his throat.

A part of him wanted to check the bedroom in case Harry'd come back, but the other just assured it would be useless.  
He did it anyway. Only to find he was right. He laid his back on the doorframe and let himself fall.

_"This is anything but alright"_

What if Harry never came back? What if this was the end? What would he do without _his_ Harry? He was still his?

Louis froze at the thought that Harry stopped being his. He couldn’t lose him.  But what if he’d already lost him?

Louis grabbed his phone, wiped his tears and tried to calm the hiccup.

“Harry I –“

“Hi this is Harry I’m busy at the moment but please leave your message after the –“

He hanged up. He couldn’t do it.

But it was Harry. His curly and happy Harry. The one who gave him so much,  laughs when he needed happiness, hugs when he needed comfort, an ear when he needed to talk, a home when he missed his family, and love, always, love. And what had _he_ given him?

“Hi this is Harry I’m busy at the moment but please leave your message after the bip. Biiiiiiip.”

“Harry it’s me I –I’m sorry. I really am. Just –please, come back. I need you.”  
“I don’t want to lose you, maybe I already did but I –I can’t lose you. You are my everything.”  
“Please forgive me. I won’t be able to make it without you. Please.”  
“Did –did I lose you? Did I? Harry I need to know that I.”  
“We can come out. We can. Fuck Eleanor. Fuck management. Fuck everything.”  
“I need this, I need us. I need you.”

Maybe 23 voice messages with sobs included were too much. But maybe not, Louis thought.  Maybe he wasn’t even going to listen to them. But maybe he was, Louis thought.

An hour passed by without a reply. An hour passed by and Louis was about surrender.

And then he glanced at the clock. 8:56 pm. It had passed a day and minutes since Harry left. A day and minutes since the last times Louis saw Harry. Since he last talked with him. Well, _talked._ But that was not the point, because now, besides feeling miserable and about to die he was worried. Not only for their relationship and their future, but for Harry.

He knew Harry, and he also knew his habit to get drunk whenever he was upset. And he also knew his inability to control his drunk self. And it was raining, and it was Harry. _His_ Harry.

Louis grabbed his iPhone one more time, now begging Harry answered that damn phone.  
But that didn’t happen.

“Harry, why can’t you pick up your phone? I just need to know you are okay I –“

But he couldn’t finish that sentence because the door was opened and a dripping wet Harry was standing under the doorframe. Louis quickly stood up from the couch for the first time in hours and walked closer to Harry. And then he looked at him. Harry was frozen right there. His curls were down and wet and all his hair seemed a mess. Louis contemplated him, his phone in his hand, his lips parted, the dark circles under his eyes, his eyes now greener and not as colder as hours ago.

And Louis stopped staring. “Harry I’m so-“

But he couldn’t finish because a pair of cold lips had crushed against his. And a tongue irrupted in his mouth and he could taste the alcohol, the perfume and the pain. When he could realize his back was against a wall and Harry had already gotten rid of his coat and he was doing the same with  Louis t-shirt (which actually was Harry’s). He was confused but somehow Harry’s wet kisses in his neck wiped the confusion away. Though, minutes later it came back and Louis pulled away and Harry looked down to those very blue and watering eyes and finally breathed. And then his back wasn’t tense anymore and he brushed Louis’ fringe with his long fingers as he kept staring at his eyes. And when a tear rolled down Louis’ cheek he kissed it.

And then Louis knew it. And Harry knew it. They both knew it.

Harry captured Louis’ lip again, and suddenly Louis’ legs were locked around Harry’s waist. And when they realized they were in their bedroom and they were naked and Louis was lying on the bed and Harry was above him.

And they had never done this before. Well, they had done it thousands times but not in this position. But it was okay because it was Harry and Louis trusted Harry more than anyone in the world.

That’s why Louis nodded when Harry asked if he wanted help. That’s why Harry inserted one finger in Louis and then two as he kissed Louis’ tears. And when he saw Louis’ cock turn red he moved his fingers and twisted them. Louis moaned and Harry pulled out his fingers and inserted his cock in that arse. And it felt so fucking good. Louis cried Harry’s name which turned on Harry even more. And that was when Harry hit Louis’ prostate and the thrusts became faster as their moans louder. And Louis didn’t feel that huge knot in his throat anymore. And they’re kissing again and when Harry licks Louis’ earlobe is when he can’t deal with it anymore and comes all over their bodies which makes Harry come too inside Louis just the second before pulling out.

And now they’re both lying on the bed and their breaths are still heavy. And Harry grabs Louis and pulls him into his bare chest. And Louis feels like this is his place on earth, _this is where I want to be._ And he looks at the hand that is stroking his fringe and then his gaze turns to those eyes that look even greener now and filled with love.

“This –“ Louis mumbles.

“This is everything we need.” Harry breathes as a beautiful and true smile appears on his face.

And Louis doesn’t say anything because he can’t agree more and this is _definitely_ everything he needs.


End file.
